Summer is half way over and I cannot believe it! I am almost done with my training to become a certified health coach and it boggles my mind how much I have learned and how much I have to share. Yet and still I am still striving to reach my own goals.
I started out early in the year participating in a food budget project. I got so flustered and embarrassed at the fact that I could not keep myself in check that I just quit. Never mind I have two kids that I stay home with and a husband with an unreliable schedule and I'm in school, I was totally disappointed in myself. I am sorry I quit and I regret it. I was so mad at myself that I even erased the posts that I had contributed. I don't wish that I had done anything differently though, at the time it was too much. I may not have been disciplined enough, but at the time it felt right.
The goal of the project was to keep track of how much you were spending on food. Now I know why I quit. Not because I was spending too much and I did not want to keep track, but I was feeling guilty, very guilty. As I was studying to be a health coach and I didn't want to unveil that I still went to Starbucks, feed my kids hot dogs, and ate at restaurants more times that I was proud of. I felt like a bad health coach. I even felt this way after reading about other participants who were doing the same thing. I did not think I was better than them, but I felt like I knew better and should not be doing these things. How nieve' I was! I thought these people know what their families need are and I thought no less of them. But I was so hard on myself.
Now I am at a point where I really do have to budget our spending. My husband is going through a transition at work, and we don't know what lies ahead in terms of work for him. Every penny is being counted until we are more comfortable with his news. So now our eggs are the only thing that is pastured and and we are eating beans not because they are healthy but because we are trying save money. Cutting back on meat is becoming a need not a want, and it is incredible the way life moves to make changes that I felt were too hard before.
I am still dedicated to feeding my family healthy. In this journey I have found a gluten sensitivity in our family, and that stuff is not cheap. Making sure there are fresh fruits and veggies to eat at every meal is not so much a luxury anymore, but a challenge. I wish I had had the willpower to make these decisions earlier but I am learning my lesson anyway. AND I am happy about it!
Now we try not to spend over $100 for a weeks worth of food. Of course we do, but it usually last a little longer than a week also. I let in "unapproved" food, because there is a lot of stress flying around, and I feel it's okay because I know why I/ we am/are eating it. We do other things to reduce stress too, but sometimes it feels plain good to have a chocolate chip cookie! I have looked into wholesale clubs but I'm not sold, I'm just happy when I can remember to use my coupons and can save 5-10 bucks at the regular store. I used to shop strictly at Whole Foods but now I find myself at the regular store buying their "healthy" versions. I cannot regularly bring myself to by bargin family sized meat packages, because I have flash backs to so many of the meat factory documentaries, but my husband slips them in and I have to remind myself that making this at home is still eating healthier than half of America!
I am trying to be easier on myself. But I do bump into a lot of "hardcore" only organic pastured family farm raised foodies, and they make me feel very guilty. I wish I could feed my family that way but we would be broke, and hungry. I have to remember everyone has their own situation and you have to do what is right and comfortable for you at the moment. It has taken me almost a year to come to this conclusion for myself. I tell other people this wisdom all the time, but for me it has been a long road.
P.S. I put a picture of a blueberry at the top because my kis eat them like candy, which I am very proud of. But it is also the moment when I realized organic blueberries were going to make us broke!
You can find Project Food Budget here:
http://emilylevenson.com/blog/project-food-budget/details
And other participating blogs are:
- Emily Levenson
- Dairy-Free Cooking
- Cook Write Heal
- Warm As Pie
- xox, b
- Project Food Budget 2.0
- That's Just Me
- Two Eggs Over Easy
- Eat Whole Be Vital
- Four Happy Violets
- Pgh Dad
- yogabeautylife
- naMAMAste
- Six Dollars a Day
- What da Health?
- French Press
- Veggie Meal Maker
- Eryn Says...
- Charmingly Modern
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